The Soundtracks Stealing Your Best Years (And How to Replace Them)

What if the biggest obstacle to staying active, connected, and thriving after 60 isn't your body—it's the voice in your head?

A few weeks ago, I called my mom to see if she wanted to go for a walk.

There was a pause. Then she said, “I don’t think so, Diana. I’m too tired today.”

It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that answer. In fact, it had become the pattern.

Now, you need to understand something about my mom, Martha. She’s 79, and after her breast cancer treatment, rebuilding her strength has been a journey. I’ve watched her fight her way back with determination I didn’t know was possible.

But lately, something had changed. It wasn’t her body holding her back. It was something else.

When I pressed her gently, she finally admitted it: “I keep thinking, what’s the point? I’m just going to get weaker anyway. Why try?”

And there it was. The real obstacle wasn’t fatigue. It was the voice in her head telling her she was fighting a losing battle.

I recognized that voice. Because I hear versions of it from so many of you who write to me. Because I hear it in my own head sometimes, worrying about my parents, worrying about my own future.

“What’s the point?”
“It’s only going to get worse.”
“My best years are behind me.”

These thoughts feel like truth. They feel like realism. But what if they’re not? What if they’re just noise—and we have the power to turn down the volume?

A Book That Changed How I Talk to My Mom (And Myself)

Around that same time, I picked up a book that felt like it was written for this exact moment. It’s called “Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking” by Jon Acuff.

Here’s Acuff’s core insight: we all have repetitive thoughts that loop in our minds like songs on a playlist. He calls them soundtracks. Some soundtracks help us move forward. Others—the broken ones—keep us stuck, anxious, and limited.

The revolutionary part? Acuff discovered that overthinking isn’t a personality flaw or something we need to eliminate. It’s actually a skill we can redirect. Instead of trying to stop thinking, we can choose better thoughts to think.

His method is simple but powerful: test every soundtrack with three questions, retire the broken ones, and intentionally replace them with soundtracks that are true, helpful, and kind.

When I read this, I immediately thought of my mom. And of you. Because if there’s one group of people bombarded with broken soundtracks, it’s those of us navigating life after 60—or watching our parents do it.

“You’re too old.”
“Your best years are over.”
“Just accept your limitations.”

These soundtracks play constantly. And they’re stealing our independence, our connections, and our potential to thrive.

So I tried Acuff’s framework with my mom. And what happened surprised both of us.

Let me show you how it works.

The Soundtracks We All Recognize

Maybe you know these voices. They show up differently for each of us, but they all have one thing in common: they keep us stuck.

Let me know if these sounds familiar:

• “I can’t do that anymore”

• “Everyone else is handling aging better than me”

• “I’m the only one struggling with this”

• “Nobody wants to hear about my problems”

• “My best years are behind me”

• “I should just accept decline”

• “It’s too late to optimize anything now”

These soundtracks keep us from the vitality and peak performance that’s still absolutely possible.

On one hand, these thoughts feel protective. They seem like they’re keeping us safe from disappointment or failure.

On the other hand, you might sense that something’s off. That these voices are holding you back more than helping you forward.

My mom felt both. The thought “I’m just going to get weaker anyway” felt like she was being realistic, protecting herself from disappointment. But it also felt heavy. Discouraging. Wrong, somehow.

And it was.

The Three Questions That Change Everything

Here’s what I shared with my mom. And what could change everything for you, too.

Jon Acuff discovered that you can test any soundtrack—any repetitive thought—with three simple questions. And if a soundtrack fails even one of these tests, it’s broken. It needs to be replaced.

The Three-Question Test:

1. Is it true?

2. Is it helpful?

3. Is it kind?

We sat at her kitchen table, and I asked her to test her soundtrack: “I’m just going to get weaker anyway.”

Let me walk you through what happened.

Question 1: Is It True?

“Mom,” I said, “is it true that you’re just going to get weaker?”

She started to say yes. Then she paused.

“Well... I got stronger after chemo. That took months, but I did it.”

“Right. So is it true that you can only get weaker?”

“No,” she admitted. “I guess that’s not true. I can get stronger. It’s just hard.”

And there it was. The soundtrack wasn’t truth. It was fear dressed up as realism.

So many of our limiting soundtracks crumble under this one question.

You can’t do what you did at 30? True.

You can only get weaker from here? Not true.

The soundtrack “I can’t” is almost always a lie. The truth is usually “I can, with modifications.” And modifications don’t mean defeat. They mean adaptation. And adaptation is how we stay independent.

Independence isn’t about refusing to adapt. It’s about adapting so you can keep choosing.

Question 2: Is It Helpful?

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s say it’s hard to get stronger. Is thinking ‘What’s the point?’ helping you do the hard thing?”

My mom laughed. “No. It makes me want to stay in bed.”

“And does staying in bed make you stronger or weaker?”

“Weaker.”

“So this thought is actually creating the outcome you’re afraid of.”

That landed.

Even if a soundtrack is partially true—yes, getting stronger after 60 is harder—it might not be helpful.

Take this one: “I’m slower than I used to be.”

Is it true? Probably.

Is it helpful? Only if it leads somewhere useful.

If it leads to “so I should quit,” it’s not helpful. But if it leads to “so I’ll adjust my pace and keep going,” now it’s helpful.

The question isn’t whether your body has changed. Of course it has. The question is: does dwelling on that change help you thrive?

Optimization isn’t about ignoring limitations. It’s about maximizing potential within reality.

Question 3: Is It Kind?

This was the question that got to my mom.

“Would you say to me, ‘Diana, what’s the point of trying? You’re just going to fail anyway’?”

“Of course not!” she said, almost offended.

“Then why is it okay to say it to yourself?”

She was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “I wouldn’t even say that to someone I didn’t like.”

And that’s the truth for so many of us. We are harsher with ourselves about aging than we would ever be with anyone else.

Imagine your friend said, “I tried to do chair exercises today and could only do five minutes. I’m such a failure.”

Would you say, “You’re right. You should just give up”?

Of course not.

You’d say, “Five minutes is amazing! That’s five minutes more than yesterday. You’re doing great.”

So why don’t we extend that same kindness to ourselves?

Here’s what’s interesting about kind soundtracks: they don’t lower standards. They don’t excuse laziness. Kind soundtracks are actually more motivating than cruel ones, because they come from a place of compassion, not shame.

Shame keeps you stuck. Kindness moves you forward.

You deserve the same compassion you’d give to anyone else going through what you’re going through. Including aging.

How to Replace a Broken Soundtrack

Understanding broken soundtracks is step one. Replacing them is step two. Here’s how my mom and I did it. And how you can do it, too.

Step 1: Catch the Soundtrack Playing

You can’t change a soundtrack you don’t notice. So for the next few days, pay attention to the repetitive thoughts that play when you:

• Think about trying something new

• Look in the mirror

• Compare yourself to others

• Consider your future

Write them down. Not to judge yourself—just to see what’s playing.

Step 2: Test Each Soundtrack

Run each thought through the three questions:

“I’m just going to get weaker anyway”

• True? No. I got stronger after chemo. I can get stronger again.

• Helpful? No. This thought keeps me from trying.

• Kind? No. I wouldn’t say this to anyone else.

Verdict: Broken soundtrack. Retire it.

Step 3: Create Your New Soundtrack

This is where it gets powerful. You don’t just eliminate the broken soundtrack. You replace it with a better one.

Your new soundtrack should pass all three tests. It should be:

• True to reality

• Helpful for moving forward

• Kind to yourself

Here are some examples of Replacement Soundtracks:

“I’m adapting so I can keep doing what matters to me. Modification is not defeat—it’s strategy.”

“I’m not the only one figuring this out. We’re all in this together, and my story might help someone else feel less alone.”

“Every day is a chance to do better. I’m getting stronger, smarter, and more intentional about my vitality.”

My mom’s new soundtrack?

“I got stronger once. I can do it again. Even if it’s slow, I’m choosing to move forward.”

True? Yes.

Helpful? Absolutely.

Kind? Very.

Step 4: Repeat Until It Sticks

Here’s the part nobody likes to hear: you have to repeat your new soundtrack. A lot.

Broken soundtracks have been playing for years. They have deep grooves in your brain. New soundtracks need repetition to create their own grooves.

But here’s the good news: it works faster than you think.

My mom went for a walk with me a few days after we created her new soundtrack. Within two weeks, she was suggesting walks. By the fourth week, she’d started doing her chair exercises again without me asking.

The soundtrack “What’s the point?” still tries to play sometimes. But now she catches it, tests it, and replaces it immediately.

Changing your soundtracks doesn’t mean negative thoughts never show up. It means you’re no longer letting them drive.

When you change your soundtracks, you’re not just swapping one thought for another. You’re making a choice about how you want to live.

My mom wasn’t just deciding whether to go for a walk that day. She was deciding whether to stay the person who tries, or become the person who gives up.

That’s what’s really happening when you replace a broken soundtrack.

You’re deciding: Do I want to keep making my own choices, or do I want fear to make them for me?

You’re deciding: Do I want to stay connected to the people I love, or do I want to pull away because I’m afraid of being a burden?

You’re deciding: Do I want to see what I’m still capable of, or do I want to assume I already know the limits?

This isn’t just positive thinking. This is practical thinking. Accurate thinking. Kind thinking.

And it changes everything.

Your Soundtrack Matters

My mom is walking almost every morning now. Not because she conquered aging or reversed time. But because she changed the soundtrack that was stealing her mornings.

And here’s what she told me recently: “I didn’t realize how mean I was being to myself. I thought I was just being realistic. But realistic doesn’t have to be cruel.”

What soundtrack is playing in your head right now?

Is it true?

Is it helpful?

Is it kind?

If not, you know what to do.

Your best years aren’t behind you. But the soundtrack that says they are? That one can go.

What’s Your Next Step?

What broken soundtrack have you been playing? What’s the truth you’re replacing it with? Reply to this email or leave a comment below. I read every response, and with your permission, I might feature your soundtrack in a future newsletter (anonymously or with your name—you choose). Your honesty might help someone else feel less alone.

🎁 Exclusive for Paid Subscribers: Your 30-Day Transformation Toolkit

Reading about broken soundtracks is one thing. Actually breaking free from them is another.

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Your personal accountability partner that includes:

✅ Daily Tracking System — Catch those broken soundtracks the moment they appear

✅ The 3-Question Framework — Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?

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✅ 30-Day Progress Tracker — Celebrate small wins that lead to transformation

✅ Replacement Soundtrack Library — Build your collection of truth-based thoughts

The reality? Most people read this, feel inspired for 20 minutes, then return to old thought patterns by tomorrow.

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