Is It Just Forgetfulness or Something More?

You walked into the kitchen. You stand there, looking around, and you have absolutely no idea why you came in here.

Again.

And for just a second—maybe longer—your stomach drops.

Is this how it starts?

You tell yourself it’s nothing. Everyone forgets things. You’re just tired. Stressed. Getting older. But the question sits there in the back of your mind, and sometimes, at 3 AM when you can’t sleep, it gets louder:

Is this just normal aging, or is it something more?

You’re not alone in asking this question. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, nearly 67% of adults over 60 worry about developing dementia. And most of us don’t talk about it—not with our doctors, not with our families, sometimes not even with ourselves.

Asking this question doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you’re paying attention. And paying attention is one of the most important things you can do for your brain health.

This article won’t diagnose you. It can’t. But it can help you understand what’s normal, what’s not, and what to do if you’re concerned. Because the difference between normal forgetfulness and early dementia isn’t always obvious, but it is knowable.

And knowing makes all the difference.

The Question You Don’t Want to Ask

There’s a reason you hesitate before typing “memory loss” into Google at midnight. There’s a reason you don’t bring it up at your next doctor’s appointment, even though it’s been on your mind for months.

Dementia is one of the most feared diagnoses in aging. More than cancer. More than heart disease. Because it touches the very core of who we are—our memories, our independence, our sense of self.

And so we avoid the question. We make jokes about “senior moments.” We laugh it off when we forget a name or misplace our phone for the third time today. We tell ourselves we’re fine.

But avoidance doesn’t make the fear go away. It just makes it grow in the dark.

Early detection changes outcomes. Not because dementia is always preventable (it’s not), but because:

• Many causes of memory problems are completely reversible

• Early intervention can slow progression and improve quality of life

• Knowing what you’re dealing with gives you back a sense of control

• It allows you to plan, to make decisions while you still can, to advocate for yourself

According to the National Institute on Aging, many factors can affect memory and thinking—including vitamin deficiencies, medication side effects, thyroid problems, sleep disorders, and depression. Some estimates suggest that up to 9% of dementia diagnoses are actually caused by reversible conditions.

So before you spiral into worst-case scenarios, let’s start with what’s actually happening in your brain as you age.

What Actually Changes in Your Brain After 60

Your brain at 70 is not your brain at 30. That’s not a bad thing—it’s just a fact.

Think of your brain like a library. When you’re younger, the library is smaller. Fewer books. It’s easier to find what you’re looking for quickly. As you age, the library gets bigger. You’ve accumulated decades of information, experiences, skills, relationships. The books are all still there—but it takes a little longer to find the right one.

This is normal aging.

Research from the National Institute on Aging shows what happens to a healthy brain after 60:

Normal Age-Related Changes:

Processing speed slows down. It might take you a few extra seconds to recall a name or remember where you put something. This doesn’t mean the information is gone—it just takes longer to retrieve.

Word-finding gets trickier. That thing where a word is on the tip of your tongue but won’t come out? That’s called the “tip-of-the-tongue” phenomenon, and it increases with age. Frustrating, yes. Abnormal, no.

Multitasking becomes harder. Your brain is less efficient at juggling multiple tasks at once. You might find you need to focus on one thing at a time more than you used to.

You’re more distractible. It’s easier to lose your train of thought if you’re interrupted. You walk into a room, someone asks you a question, and suddenly you’ve forgotten why you came in there.

Remembering names and dates takes effort. Especially names of people you don’t see often, or details like “Was that appointment on Tuesday or Thursday?”

All of these changes are typical, expected, and do not interfere with your ability to live independently or take care of yourself.

The Doorway Effect (Yes, It’s Real)

You know that moment when you walk into a room and immediately forget why you’re there? There’s actually a name for it: the Doorway Effect.

Research published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology found that passing through a doorway creates what’s called an “event boundary” in your brain—your mind files away what you were just thinking about and prepares for a new context. It happens to people of all ages, but it can feel more frequent (and more frustrating) as you get older.

So if you walked into the kitchen and forgot why, that’s not dementia. That’s your brain doing exactly what brains do.

Normal Forgetfulness vs. Something More: A Clear Comparison

Some memory changes are normal. Others are not.

The key difference isn’t what you forget—it’s how much it disrupts your daily life and independence.

For example, here’s the difference between normal aging vs. possible dementia warning signs:

Keys and everyday objects:
Normal: You forget *where* you put your keys.
Concerning: You forget *what* keys are for.

Words and language:
Normal: You occasionally forget a word or name, but it comes to you later.
Concerning: You frequently can't find the right word, and substitute unusual words ("that thing for cooking" instead of "pot").

Time and dates:
Normal: You forget what day of the week it is, but figure it out quickly.
Concerning: You lose track of dates, seasons, and the passage of time. You might not know what year it is.

Managing money:
Normal: You make an occasional mistake when balancing your checkbook.
Concerning: You have trouble managing finances—paying bills, understanding numbers, or following a budget.

Following instructions:
Normal: You sometimes need help with technology or new appliances.
Concerning: You can't follow familiar instructions, like a recipe you've made 100 times, or you forget how to use everyday items.

Conversations and repetition:
Normal: You occasionally forget a conversation or a detail someone told you.
Concerning: You ask the same question repeatedly within minutes, even after being told the answer multiple times.

Getting around:
Normal: You get temporarily confused about which route to take, then find your way.
Concerning: You get lost in familiar places—your own neighborhood, the route to the grocery store you've been going to for years.

Social engagement:
Normal: You sometimes feel weary of work or social obligations and need a break.
Concerning: You withdraw from hobbies, social activities, or work projects you used to enjoy, because you've lost interest or feel unable to participate.

A simpler way to think about it:

• Normal aging: You forget details.

• Dementia: You forget how to function.

If you’re reading this article, understanding it, and reflecting on your own memory—those are all complex cognitive tasks. You’re doing them right now. That matters.

The Reversible Causes We Sometimes Overlook

Many things can cause memory problems that look like dementia but aren’t.

When my aunt was 74, she started getting confused about what day it was. She’d ask my mom the same question twice in an hour. My stomach dropped. I thought, This is it. This is the beginning.

We went to the doctor. Turns out, she had a urinary tract infection (UTI). Within 48 hours of starting antibiotics, her confusion completely cleared.

I’m sharing this because it happens more often than you think.

6 Reversible Causes of Memory Loss:

1. Vitamin B12 Deficiency
Low B12 can cause memory problems, confusion, and even depression. It’s especially common in older adults because stomach acid (which helps absorb B12) decreases with age. A simple blood test can diagnose it, and treatment is straightforward—B12 supplements or injections.

2. Thyroid Disorders
Both an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) and an overactive thyroid can cause cognitive symptoms, including memory problems and brain fog. A blood test can check this.

3. Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs)
In older adults, UTIs don’t always cause the typical burning or urgency. Instead, they can cause sudden confusion, agitation, or memory problems. This is often mistaken for dementia. Treatment with antibiotics usually resolves symptoms quickly.

4. Medication Side Effects
Many medications can affect memory—especially anticholinergics (used for allergies, sleep, bladder control), benzodiazepines (anxiety medications), and certain blood pressure drugs. If you’ve started a new medication around the time your memory changed, talk to your doctor. Sometimes switching medications can make all the difference.

5. Sleep Apnea
If you’re not sleeping well—especially if you have untreated sleep apnea—your brain isn’t getting the rest it needs to form and consolidate memories. Treating sleep issues can dramatically improve cognitive function.

6. Depression
Depression in older adults often doesn’t look like sadness. It can look like withdrawal, fatigue, loss of interest in activities, and yes—memory problems. This is sometimes called “pseudodementia,” and it’s treatable with therapy and/or medication.

If you’re experiencing memory changes, the first step isn’t to assume dementia. The first step is to rule out reversible causes. And the only way to do that is to talk to your doctor.

What to Track Before Your Appointment

If you’re concerned about your memory, start paying attention. Not obsessively—just gently. Notice patterns.

Track these things over the next few weeks:

Your Memory Journal (Simple Framework):

1. What happened?
Describe the memory lapse. (”I forgot my neighbor’s name, even though I’ve known her for 10 years.”)

2. When did it happen?
Time of day, how long ago, how often it’s happening.

3. What else was going on?
Were you tired? Stressed? Distracted? Taking a new medication? Not sleeping well?

4. Did it resolve?
Did you eventually remember? Did someone remind you? Or is the information just... gone?

You don’t need a fancy app or system. A simple notebook or the notes app on your phone works fine.

Memory problems that come on suddenly or are linked to specific circumstances (like a new medication or poor sleep) are much more likely to be reversible. Problems that develop gradually over 6+ months and worsen over time are more concerning.

Tracking helps you (and your doctor) see the pattern.

When to See a Doctor: A Clear Checklist

If you’re worried enough to be reading this article, it’s worth having a conversation with your doctor.

You don’t need to wait until things are “bad enough.” You don’t need permission. You are not wasting anyone’s time.

See your doctor if:

• Memory problems are interfering with daily life (paying bills, taking medications correctly, cooking, driving safely)

• You’re getting lost in familiar places

• You’ve noticed changes over the past 6–12 months that are getting worse

• Family members have expressed concern

• You’re having trouble following conversations or finding words

• You’re withdrawing from activities you used to enjoy because they feel too hard

• You’re feeling confused about time, dates, or where you are

What to Expect at Your Appointment:

Your doctor will likely:

• Ask detailed questions about your symptoms, medical history, and medications

• Do a physical exam and check for underlying conditions (thyroid, B12, infections)

• Perform a cognitive screening test (like the Mini-Mental State Exam or Montreal Cognitive Assessment)

• Possibly order blood work or imaging (MRI or CT scan) to rule out other causes

Important: Bring someone with you if you can. A family member or close friend can provide observations you might not notice yourself, and they can help you remember what the doctor says.

Preparing for Your Doctor Visit

Walking into a doctor’s office and saying, “I think something’s wrong with my memory” is hard. Your heart races. Your mind goes blank. You worry they’ll dismiss you or, worse, confirm your worst fear.

These steps make that conversation easier:

Before Your Appointment:

1. Write down specific examples.
Don’t just say, “I’m forgetting things.” Say, “Last week, I asked my daughter the same question three times in one conversation. Two weeks ago, I couldn’t remember how to get to the grocery store I’ve been going to for 15 years.”

Concrete examples help your doctor understand what you’re experiencing.

2. List all your medications.
Include over-the-counter drugs, supplements, and anything you take “as needed.” Bring the bottles if you can.

3. Note any recent changes.
New medications, stressful events, changes in sleep, mood changes, or physical health issues.

4. Bring your memory journal (if you’ve been keeping one).

What to Say:

“I’ve been noticing some changes in my memory over the past [time period], and I want to get checked out. I know it might be normal aging, but I’d like to rule out other causes. Here are some specific examples...”

Questions to Ask Your Doctor:

• What could be causing these symptoms?

• What tests do you recommend?

• Are any of my medications known to affect memory?

• Should I see a specialist (neurologist, geriatrician)?

• What can I do right now to support my brain health?

A good doctor will take your concerns seriously. If yours doesn’t, find another doctor. You deserve to be heard.

What Would Help You Most?

This article covers the basics of memory changes, warning signs, and when to see a doctor. But there’s so much more we could explore together.

I want to make sure I’m writing about what actually matters to you—not what I think you need, but what you’re genuinely concerned about or curious about.

So I’m asking:

Cast your vote above—and if there's something else on your mind that isn't on this list, please tell me in the comments!