My husband and I are in our mid-70s. We are in the process of creating an irrevocable trust with our daughter. We moved from Scottsdale, Arizona to Louisville, Kentucky to be closer to her. She is our only child. We are now a mile apart. We bought a condo garden home in a 48 home neighborhood. We're 95% of the people are retired. I have made close friends with a group here in this development. We go out to dinner regularly and play bunco, dominoes and cards together. I found a church that is supportive and people in the community go there as well. It is ideal for now. I continue to declutter and organize so my daughter will not have to deal with this and not have to go through probate as I did with my mother and brother.
What a thoughtful setup. Being close to your daughter, building a strong local community, and simplifying things now can make a huge difference later. It sounds like you’ve created a life that gives both connection and peace of mind. ❤️
What a thoughtful article - having seen my mother fight it tooth and nail, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to move whilst I’m still able to decide myself and not be ‘placed’ - I’m only 17 years behind her and she’s put me through hell with her demanding care and I’m not prepared to do that to my own darling son.
It’s nice to read the comments of people decluttering to save their children the task.
That sounds like a hard-earned decision. I’ve heard similar reflections from others who have been caregivers. Hopefully it gives you a chance to make the choice on your own terms. ❤️
.I have definitely considered this situation. If I end up living alone, I will likely need to consider a change. My family has lived in this property, which I inherited from my grandfather, for over 40 years. Our family history here goes back over a hundred years. Our children live nearby, approximately five miles away. I am familiar with the different levels of assisted living, as we guided my mother-in-law through those options.
This sounds like a thoughtful way to look at it. Having your children nearby and already being familiar with the options gives you more flexibility if your needs change down the road. For now, it sounds like you have strong roots exactly where you are.
So interesting. In 2020, we did move to a CCRC a bit sooner than planned after situating in The Villages in Florida two years. That is a 55+ community. Yes, they are different. Before the move to Florida, we did sell a couple of homes tied to work locations but kept a home in West Jefferson that we consistently returned to every summer/fall. Last summer we sold that home - I simply felt it was now time to do so and make the CCRC our year round home primarily for availability of healthcare options. This fall after we moved my husband was diagnosed with heart blockages and had double bypass surgery just before Thanksgiving. I was/am so grateful we are here! The community we are in is not isolated so we have access to many options and family. We live in an “independent living” home. Being able to afford the healthcare services is a benefit. I am grateful.
What a powerful reminder that timing matters. I’m so glad you had access to the care and support you needed when your husband faced that health scare. Thank you for sharing your experience, Susan. ❤️
Thank you for sharing that, Robert. These conversations aren’t always easy to have, but I’m glad the article gave you and your wife something meaningful to think about!
What a great article, so thought provoking! I am recently retired and now in my early 60's. I have been watching the decisions my mother-in-law, in her mid 80's, has been making. She has has been a wonderful model to follow because she has made decisions ahead of any emergencies. It has helped me with both my life plan and my financial plan. I have moves and downsizing built into my plans. The questions you have posed in the article will be questions I need to consider along the way to move those plans to actions.
I love that. It sounds like your mother-in-law has given you a real-world example of how much easier things can be when some of those decisions are made before they’re urgent. I’m glad the questions were helpful as you think through your own plans!
My husband and I are in our mid-70s. We are in the process of creating an irrevocable trust with our daughter. We moved from Scottsdale, Arizona to Louisville, Kentucky to be closer to her. She is our only child. We are now a mile apart. We bought a condo garden home in a 48 home neighborhood. We're 95% of the people are retired. I have made close friends with a group here in this development. We go out to dinner regularly and play bunco, dominoes and cards together. I found a church that is supportive and people in the community go there as well. It is ideal for now. I continue to declutter and organize so my daughter will not have to deal with this and not have to go through probate as I did with my mother and brother.
What a thoughtful setup. Being close to your daughter, building a strong local community, and simplifying things now can make a huge difference later. It sounds like you’ve created a life that gives both connection and peace of mind. ❤️
This resonates with me. Wherever we choose to age, the goal should be the same: maintaining independence without losing connection.
Well said. Independence and connection aren’t opposites. We need both. ❤️
What a thoughtful article - having seen my mother fight it tooth and nail, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to move whilst I’m still able to decide myself and not be ‘placed’ - I’m only 17 years behind her and she’s put me through hell with her demanding care and I’m not prepared to do that to my own darling son.
It’s nice to read the comments of people decluttering to save their children the task.
That sounds like a hard-earned decision. I’ve heard similar reflections from others who have been caregivers. Hopefully it gives you a chance to make the choice on your own terms. ❤️
.I have definitely considered this situation. If I end up living alone, I will likely need to consider a change. My family has lived in this property, which I inherited from my grandfather, for over 40 years. Our family history here goes back over a hundred years. Our children live nearby, approximately five miles away. I am familiar with the different levels of assisted living, as we guided my mother-in-law through those options.
This sounds like a thoughtful way to look at it. Having your children nearby and already being familiar with the options gives you more flexibility if your needs change down the road. For now, it sounds like you have strong roots exactly where you are.
So interesting. In 2020, we did move to a CCRC a bit sooner than planned after situating in The Villages in Florida two years. That is a 55+ community. Yes, they are different. Before the move to Florida, we did sell a couple of homes tied to work locations but kept a home in West Jefferson that we consistently returned to every summer/fall. Last summer we sold that home - I simply felt it was now time to do so and make the CCRC our year round home primarily for availability of healthcare options. This fall after we moved my husband was diagnosed with heart blockages and had double bypass surgery just before Thanksgiving. I was/am so grateful we are here! The community we are in is not isolated so we have access to many options and family. We live in an “independent living” home. Being able to afford the healthcare services is a benefit. I am grateful.
What a powerful reminder that timing matters. I’m so glad you had access to the care and support you needed when your husband faced that health scare. Thank you for sharing your experience, Susan. ❤️
You may have given me and my wife the push we need to consider alternatives to how we are aging now.
Thank you for sharing that, Robert. These conversations aren’t always easy to have, but I’m glad the article gave you and your wife something meaningful to think about!
What a great article, so thought provoking! I am recently retired and now in my early 60's. I have been watching the decisions my mother-in-law, in her mid 80's, has been making. She has has been a wonderful model to follow because she has made decisions ahead of any emergencies. It has helped me with both my life plan and my financial plan. I have moves and downsizing built into my plans. The questions you have posed in the article will be questions I need to consider along the way to move those plans to actions.
I love that. It sounds like your mother-in-law has given you a real-world example of how much easier things can be when some of those decisions are made before they’re urgent. I’m glad the questions were helpful as you think through your own plans!
This article forced me to think thoughts I did not want to think… Thank you! I needed a push!
I’m so happy to hear that! It means the article did exactly what I hoped it would, help bring those thoughts into the open.
I’m in total agreement.
Thank you for reading and commenting!