As a 78 yo I really appreciate your great suggestions and strategies. I have started clearing out years of history. Yes, even a small amount of progress is uplifting. I am in a neighborhood of weekly estate sales, do I want someone going through my closet, bedroom drawers, garage after I am gone No. Will I know? Of course not. But I feel the discomfort now. My family does not want my “stuff”. My plan is to clean and minimize, so there is little for my family to dispose of when I’m gone.
Judy, this is beautifully said—and you’re not alone in feeling this way. What you’re doing is a real gift to yourself now and a kindness to your family later. That discomfort you mentioned is so honest, and it makes sense. Even small steps matter, and you’re proving that progress can feel uplifting. Thank you for sharing your perspective—I think it will resonate with a lot of people.
Thank you for your kind words. I have been a caregiver for my husband with Parkinson’s disease for 3 years. He just passed away in November. I developed sciatica from lifting him off the floor, out of the car, off the couch, etc. Now my caregiving days are over and with my back and leg pain resolved, I am able, on my own, to move, pack, sort, donate and trash items no longer needed or wanted in our home. I am committed to getting this work done before I am physically unable to do so again.
For years before I was even 60, every January I start on the bedroom and work one room at a time and declutter. I just work in that one room for a few minutes, a day, two days in the week until done. Move to the next room. I also have a rule about at least two thrift store donations a month. Helpful hint: pet shelters love donations of towels you are discarding.
Thank you for your wisdom. I'm well past my 60s but I've started with my bedroom and I'm taking it a step at a time. It's hard and it is emotional, but your article was really helpful in giving me permission to go at my own pace. I'm finding that making a little space here and there is rewarding and encourages me to move on. It hit home with the craft projects I've been accumulating over the years. Things I've wanted to make but now I don't have the space for it and my eyes and hands aren't what they used to be. I want a studio but 'stuff' is in the way. I helped a good friend clear out her house several years ago (but a lot of it came to my house, she had things that she had gotten from my mom). It is hard facing who we really are today as opposed to the person we were even 10 or 20 years ago. When I see myself from the inside it's sometimes a far cry from the person I see in the mirror. I need to connect those two. But thanks to your article, I wake with new resolve to improve my life one clutter at a time.
Lynda, thank you for sharing this so honestly. What you’re doing is real work — emotional, physical, and deeply personal — and taking it slowly is exactly the right pace. Letting go of projects and “future versions” of ourselves can be harder than letting go of objects, especially when they’re tied to family and memory. Making space isn’t about giving up; it’s about choosing what supports who you are today. A studio is still possible — it just may look different than it once did. Be gentle with yourself. The fact that you’re moving forward at all is something to be proud of.
I’ve just read this and your comment…. I’m now 72, recognise the feelings and understand the need to start now while I’m fit and able - emotionally it will be hard. Ive recently read a novel ‘the home we grew up in ‘ basically about a hoarder from the children’s perspective - it was very uncomfortable reading as I realised I have drawers and cupboards that are stuffed with memories, craft items, trinkets, unfinished projects and things related to who I was, my parents and not at all who am now.
So given this article I’m going to start with my bathroom this weekend with new determination. Then I will paint it to celebrate ! I think the bathroom will be easiest, as I would like to remove the bath to put in a walk in electric shower instead of the awful weak shower that runs off the tank I’ve been tolerating for 7 years !
This article and your comment has given me the permission to start. I think because I have lost a lot, home, marriage, money on my life’s journey, I now keep things in case I need them: in case I can’t afford to buy them again: in case my daughter might want them but really I don’t need everything I have any longer. I’m already selling clothes on Vinted at low prices or donating to charity shops they’re easy to let go - it’s the stuff with memories or possible usefulness attached that I find hardest.
For example my 90 year old neighbour started to clear her house 5 years ago - theres just 1 room left that defeats her, the rest of her house to me now looks laid bare but she maintains it’s less housework, she likes the space.
My house is comfortable not cluttered: possibly too many cushions, throws and towels yes, but inside those cupboards and drawers so much is hidden that it threatens to spill over if I don’t act fast … it needs a good sort out !
I'm with you, Barb. I can totally relate to what you're saying. I'm 81 but tell myself ... it's never too late. My adult ADHD doesn't help as it amazes me to see orderly houses (although I think my daughter was born with a vacuum in her hands). My clutter even spreads to plants in my yard. However, however I do believe I can do this if I can just have a little patience with myself. As we age I think we tend to pressure ourselves to hurry (ironic since it's also a time when our bodies tend to slow down). The good news is I had an aunt and a great aunt who both lived to 100, so that's a good age to aim for. Good luck with your journey.
Over the past year, I’ve gone through the shoeboxes of photos, discarding blurry ones, photos of people’s thumbs, and those where I don’t recognize the people or the location. Through this process, I’ve cleared out space!
This is so important! As a home health therapist, I often ask my patients, “What will happen to all your stuff when you are gone?” The typical answer is, “My kids will take care of it.”
Watching my kids spend months cleaning out their father’s house after his death was painful and definitely NOT something they wanted to “take care of.”
Such practical advice. I’ve done 2 downsizing’s in the last 6 years. The 1st, just after losing my husband. Moving from a 2809 sq ft townhouse with a lot of storage, to a 1600 sq ft condo with some storage. Then, most recently to a modular home, where all closets and cabinets are small. And very limited storage. I did use much of the practical advice you stated. It is emotional and both mentally and physically exhausting. But, I’m in a space where everything I look at, I love. It’s a really great feeling.
The freedom and lightness felt after sorting and tossing old photos was amazing, and surprising! That was a big project. Now I try to add something to my donate box every day before breakfast. Slowly slowly its working and making a difference !
I have read books, done minimal de-cluttering but when we remodeled the kitchen I had to clean it out. The countertops were the biggest challenge but it definitely IS easier to clean up a tidier less cluttered space! And it feels SO GOOD to come out every morning and see it clean. It has carried over to other areas of the house too but my next real project is my sewing room. I have also learned that multi tasking is counter-productive. I am 79.
I read the book on Swedish Death Cleaning and got inspired. Great information here. I have spent the first few years of my retirement purging. Clothes, shoes, handbags, books, and recently vinyl albums and games. All donated, rather than thrown out. It feels great. 🤗
Great piece. Last year, while visiting my ageing parents - who have never really hold on to things, but still had too much - I spent lots of time with the going through cupboards and helping clean up, especially papers and small things that didn’t take too much space and took time to sort. What I learned is that going through the process together helped the, and also helped me understand what is important to them. It was also a wonderful sharing moment, as they told me stories I had never heard before and I learned a lot from them and their lives. I am thankful of having done this with them and not when they are gone.
Thank you so much for sharing this — you said it perfectly.
Clearing things out together isn’t just about stuff, it’s about memories, stories, and time with the people we love. I’m really glad you got to have that with your parents! ❤️
What a wonderful piece! Have you ever heard of the book “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Clearing,”? If your piece inspires people, the book would be a good companion ♥️
Yes my daughter was talking of this last week - after we both had read “ the house we grew up in “ about a mother who became a hoarder- a very uncomfortable read - it makes you very aware of what you’re holding on to !
I'm 66 and have tossed so many things! All my photo albums, gone. I had all photos scanned. I will be making books with them. When I die, they will also be on a removeable hard drive. If the kids, or grands, want them, fine. If not, they can toss.
Love this. I will be posting my declutterring notes later this week. It has taken me a bit longer to do my house but I am getting there. My first will be tomorrow.
As a 78 yo I really appreciate your great suggestions and strategies. I have started clearing out years of history. Yes, even a small amount of progress is uplifting. I am in a neighborhood of weekly estate sales, do I want someone going through my closet, bedroom drawers, garage after I am gone No. Will I know? Of course not. But I feel the discomfort now. My family does not want my “stuff”. My plan is to clean and minimize, so there is little for my family to dispose of when I’m gone.
Judy, this is beautifully said—and you’re not alone in feeling this way. What you’re doing is a real gift to yourself now and a kindness to your family later. That discomfort you mentioned is so honest, and it makes sense. Even small steps matter, and you’re proving that progress can feel uplifting. Thank you for sharing your perspective—I think it will resonate with a lot of people.
Thank you for your kind words. I have been a caregiver for my husband with Parkinson’s disease for 3 years. He just passed away in November. I developed sciatica from lifting him off the floor, out of the car, off the couch, etc. Now my caregiving days are over and with my back and leg pain resolved, I am able, on my own, to move, pack, sort, donate and trash items no longer needed or wanted in our home. I am committed to getting this work done before I am physically unable to do so again.
Piss off
?!
For years before I was even 60, every January I start on the bedroom and work one room at a time and declutter. I just work in that one room for a few minutes, a day, two days in the week until done. Move to the next room. I also have a rule about at least two thrift store donations a month. Helpful hint: pet shelters love donations of towels you are discarding.
That’s so generous and your loved ones will appreciate it. It helps them know what you value so they can value it, too.
Thank you for your wisdom. I'm well past my 60s but I've started with my bedroom and I'm taking it a step at a time. It's hard and it is emotional, but your article was really helpful in giving me permission to go at my own pace. I'm finding that making a little space here and there is rewarding and encourages me to move on. It hit home with the craft projects I've been accumulating over the years. Things I've wanted to make but now I don't have the space for it and my eyes and hands aren't what they used to be. I want a studio but 'stuff' is in the way. I helped a good friend clear out her house several years ago (but a lot of it came to my house, she had things that she had gotten from my mom). It is hard facing who we really are today as opposed to the person we were even 10 or 20 years ago. When I see myself from the inside it's sometimes a far cry from the person I see in the mirror. I need to connect those two. But thanks to your article, I wake with new resolve to improve my life one clutter at a time.
Lynda, thank you for sharing this so honestly. What you’re doing is real work — emotional, physical, and deeply personal — and taking it slowly is exactly the right pace. Letting go of projects and “future versions” of ourselves can be harder than letting go of objects, especially when they’re tied to family and memory. Making space isn’t about giving up; it’s about choosing what supports who you are today. A studio is still possible — it just may look different than it once did. Be gentle with yourself. The fact that you’re moving forward at all is something to be proud of.
I’ve just read this and your comment…. I’m now 72, recognise the feelings and understand the need to start now while I’m fit and able - emotionally it will be hard. Ive recently read a novel ‘the home we grew up in ‘ basically about a hoarder from the children’s perspective - it was very uncomfortable reading as I realised I have drawers and cupboards that are stuffed with memories, craft items, trinkets, unfinished projects and things related to who I was, my parents and not at all who am now.
So given this article I’m going to start with my bathroom this weekend with new determination. Then I will paint it to celebrate ! I think the bathroom will be easiest, as I would like to remove the bath to put in a walk in electric shower instead of the awful weak shower that runs off the tank I’ve been tolerating for 7 years !
This article and your comment has given me the permission to start. I think because I have lost a lot, home, marriage, money on my life’s journey, I now keep things in case I need them: in case I can’t afford to buy them again: in case my daughter might want them but really I don’t need everything I have any longer. I’m already selling clothes on Vinted at low prices or donating to charity shops they’re easy to let go - it’s the stuff with memories or possible usefulness attached that I find hardest.
For example my 90 year old neighbour started to clear her house 5 years ago - theres just 1 room left that defeats her, the rest of her house to me now looks laid bare but she maintains it’s less housework, she likes the space.
My house is comfortable not cluttered: possibly too many cushions, throws and towels yes, but inside those cupboards and drawers so much is hidden that it threatens to spill over if I don’t act fast … it needs a good sort out !
So I’m starting on Saturday, wish me luck 🍀
I'm with you, Barb. I can totally relate to what you're saying. I'm 81 but tell myself ... it's never too late. My adult ADHD doesn't help as it amazes me to see orderly houses (although I think my daughter was born with a vacuum in her hands). My clutter even spreads to plants in my yard. However, however I do believe I can do this if I can just have a little patience with myself. As we age I think we tend to pressure ourselves to hurry (ironic since it's also a time when our bodies tend to slow down). The good news is I had an aunt and a great aunt who both lived to 100, so that's a good age to aim for. Good luck with your journey.
Over the past year, I’ve gone through the shoeboxes of photos, discarding blurry ones, photos of people’s thumbs, and those where I don’t recognize the people or the location. Through this process, I’ve cleared out space!
This is so important! As a home health therapist, I often ask my patients, “What will happen to all your stuff when you are gone?” The typical answer is, “My kids will take care of it.”
Watching my kids spend months cleaning out their father’s house after his death was painful and definitely NOT something they wanted to “take care of.”
Such practical advice. I’ve done 2 downsizing’s in the last 6 years. The 1st, just after losing my husband. Moving from a 2809 sq ft townhouse with a lot of storage, to a 1600 sq ft condo with some storage. Then, most recently to a modular home, where all closets and cabinets are small. And very limited storage. I did use much of the practical advice you stated. It is emotional and both mentally and physically exhausting. But, I’m in a space where everything I look at, I love. It’s a really great feeling.
The freedom and lightness felt after sorting and tossing old photos was amazing, and surprising! That was a big project. Now I try to add something to my donate box every day before breakfast. Slowly slowly its working and making a difference !
I did the declutter and discard for my parents. Now I am doing it for my husband and me.
Each load I donate lightens me - and what needs to be eliminated .
No longer feeling so possessed by my possessions.
I have read books, done minimal de-cluttering but when we remodeled the kitchen I had to clean it out. The countertops were the biggest challenge but it definitely IS easier to clean up a tidier less cluttered space! And it feels SO GOOD to come out every morning and see it clean. It has carried over to other areas of the house too but my next real project is my sewing room. I have also learned that multi tasking is counter-productive. I am 79.
I read the book on Swedish Death Cleaning and got inspired. Great information here. I have spent the first few years of my retirement purging. Clothes, shoes, handbags, books, and recently vinyl albums and games. All donated, rather than thrown out. It feels great. 🤗
Love the compassion and understanding of your approach. Thank you.
De-cluttering is a great thing to do at any stage of your life, but especially at “hinge” moments. I’m doing it now during my professional transition… If you’re interested, you can read about it here: https://sabbaticalat50.substack.com/p/what-to-carry-into-the-next-chapter
Great piece. Last year, while visiting my ageing parents - who have never really hold on to things, but still had too much - I spent lots of time with the going through cupboards and helping clean up, especially papers and small things that didn’t take too much space and took time to sort. What I learned is that going through the process together helped the, and also helped me understand what is important to them. It was also a wonderful sharing moment, as they told me stories I had never heard before and I learned a lot from them and their lives. I am thankful of having done this with them and not when they are gone.
Thank you so much for sharing this — you said it perfectly.
Clearing things out together isn’t just about stuff, it’s about memories, stories, and time with the people we love. I’m really glad you got to have that with your parents! ❤️
What a wonderful piece! Have you ever heard of the book “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Clearing,”? If your piece inspires people, the book would be a good companion ♥️
Didn’t know about this book, thank you for the recommendation!
Yes my daughter was talking of this last week - after we both had read “ the house we grew up in “ about a mother who became a hoarder- a very uncomfortable read - it makes you very aware of what you’re holding on to !
I'm 66 and have tossed so many things! All my photo albums, gone. I had all photos scanned. I will be making books with them. When I die, they will also be on a removeable hard drive. If the kids, or grands, want them, fine. If not, they can toss.
Love this. I will be posting my declutterring notes later this week. It has taken me a bit longer to do my house but I am getting there. My first will be tomorrow.
Thank you.